Desire is endless. Even things we think that are good for us lead to despair. Like love, success, growth.

Lots of things inspire us and make us work for it. We also get it and yet afterwards, there is a sense of emptiness. Why is it? Is life’s goal futile? There is a want for something more.

Success too is relative.  Having a dream house is a satisfying feeling but it turns to despair when you see an even better luxurious lifestyle of your friend’s.

An other example, Seeing your son form sentences at 7 months of age is a joy. Yet it becomes a source of pain if you come to know that your neighbour’s son speaks more than one language when he is just an year old.

What can be done for a fulfilling, happy, purposeful life.

There is a conflict in our human psyche. We are expected to be focussed and goal oriented to achieve something which we are proud of and to be impactful in this world. Also, we are expected to co-habit  with other humans and be empathetic for a sustainable world.

When you are goal-oriented and self focussed, you forget the world and you achieve only material success like a luxurious car, fulfilling career and you could make an impact in this world but you are not assured to get love, affection and a supporting family.

If you are empathetic and helpful, material gain becomes difficult. But becoming a human oriented person, you are to have a fulfilling relationship and friends all your life.

How can one balance both. What if I want to be successful in life without losing on love and relationships.. How can I remove the emptiness  after success? How can I be  unperturbed by others’ success? How can I be more impactful in my life?

When you open up for the world, you start seeing others’ pain and suffering. You invariably see others’ success and happiness too. You get affected by others’ feelings and statuses. You see a lot of people do a lot of things like facebook and you start forming mental images of their success.

When you see an other person, if you could stop yourself from forming any opinion on him, you are free. You have the greatest gift that one could have for a joyous life. That should be the goal.

Seeing a rich guy get down from his porsche or seeing a young shabby beggar across the street – should not make you form opionions on their life being a success or a failure.

Cyber stalking sites like facebook make you more weak. It makes other’s life look more glorious.  Bungy Jumping from 800 feet, might bring joy to your friend who is doing it. It is not a joy to you that too sitting here in the kitchen after putting your 1 year kid to sleep at 3 AM in the morning. You would love bungy jumping for sure but only when you do it. You can’t fake smile in real life but in facebook, you love it and comment ‘wish I do it sometime’.

Beautify apps of our mobile phones, make us feel bad when we see the glowing face of a model. Looking good is the model’s profession, not yours.

Don’t put yourself in anybody else’s shoes. Never. Not in the place of a movie star when watching a movie. Not in facebook, when seeing your friend do it. You are living your life. If you want to make it better. Working on it helps and not wishing you be somewhere else, doing something else, thinking something else.

Think, Do, live, work – here in the present. This helps in controlling our human empathy. If  you see someone suffering, don’t put yourself in their shoes, help them howmuch ever you could but never imagine yourself in anybody else’s shoes. It is a bane. Thinking imagination will help us from future scenarios is like knowing what the first kiss would feel like, before it actually happens.

Somethings ought to be experienced for to cherish. Else, it is useless.

To be focussed and goal oriented and to remove the emptiness after a success. When you remove others from your mind. Like their appreciations, their thoughts about you, the way they feel about you and the way they talk, laugh at you will not mind any more. Because, your failures and successes are just yours. You need not share it with the world.

Imagine, you have painted a great picture. People praise you. You are paid one million dollars for it. This is a success. It becomes a pain, when you forget why you painted it and how you painted it and take the bullshit of ‘greatest painting of the century’, ‘costliest painting in the wold’ , ‘Greatest artist the world has seen’ etc., into your head.

If you think you are unbeatable, there is no chance you could win. If you know you are beatable, there is a chance that you can figure out a way to win.