Listening is a skill now a days. We don’t listen because of a few many reasons.
Either we have a lot to say or we want to be recognized immediately. We can’t wait to show how great our ideas are.
Listening is like taking the backseat, letting someone else drive and it is like handing over the steering to them. You should let them drive where they want to. You shouldn’t show a better way, shorter route, nice place to go. The person who is talking should be the person deciding where the conversation should go. Especially, if they are sharing their grief or their troubles.
Sometimes, in relationships, we get used to the sound, modulation and habits of people – The routine affects our listening skills. It is better to practice – ‘listening’ consciously in everyday situations.
Giving genuine interest in people’s ideas and words help a lot. Don’t worry about when should I talk then? When should I share my ideas>? – It is easy and this is the best part of being a good listener – You never need to. No one asked for your idea nor solution. People talk about difficulties, ideas – for to share with someone.
Truth is – I started blogging, because I felt I had a lot to say but couldn’t share it with my friends – because I tend to tell them when they don’t need them. Best thing about blog, is people come open-minded to listen to what I have to say. If they don’t like to hear, they just leave the page(conversation). I leave my so called great ideas and life changing habits to my blogs and leave my friends and family alone.
Now a days, I try not to get bothered if I don’t share the valuable tit-bit, idea – cutting my friends mid-sentence. I try my best to just be there listening to their grievances, ideas without interrupting. I do what a good friend should – Listen.
Listening is peaceful. It adds depth to your character. It adds layers to your personality. Have you felt like you are empty after blurting out ideas cutting your friends with great ideas. The ideas go unnoticed, unappreciated. It dies. It doesn’t give the satisfaction you expected because it was not well accepted.
Ideas, solutions are more satisfying and impactful, when they are shared when they are sought for. Pray that you get opportunities when people ask for your advice or idea – Share freely then. It will be more satisfying. Don’t feel down if you don’t share a tip that could change your friend’s attitute. You think they don’t know these stuff. They do. They would need a helping hand to get to a mind-frame where they can work on the problems themselves. You listening is the helping hand, the rungs of ladder that helps them climb out of the dark. All you need to do is get down and help them climb.
Be it your kid, or your boring aunt, listen only if you are interested. Take time to genuinely listen to them even if it is for a short time. If you are not interested in the conversation, decline politely and get back to the conversation, when you can truly listen. Don’t think you can nod your head out of the conversation – It kills the relationship and the essense of a beautiful conversation. You kill a part of your esteem.
When you are at the receiving end, you tend to accept that these things happen in a conversation – as you had done the same to someone else. It doesn’t. You won’t be increasing your voice to sustain a conversation. You will know when to stop and know when the other person is not listening. It will not hurt you as you know what mindset they are in. It gives peace. More a good listener you are. People tend to be good listeners around you.
You measure your words and it gets the due importance it needs. Start listening, to be listened to.
Share your thoughts if anytime you truly were listening and it made a difference. I am all ears.